Stubble Bath

by The Shorty Tubbs

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Polite Nate First you've gotta... bait her! Favorite track: Omyo Mei.
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about

See our debut video at youtu.be/hjDkbS_GbwU (you might as well... I mean, what else are you doing while waiting for this album to download?)

credits

released July 17, 2012

Credits:
Recorded in Shifty Clothing Shelter's living room by Dan Tweedie;
Mixed in the bedroom by Dan Tweedie;
Produced by Dan Tweedie, Mike Nason and The Shorty Tubbs;
Mastered by Dan Tweedie.

Words by Mack Brockton / Music by The Shorty Tubbs

Album Art by: Penelope Stevens

The Tubbies are:
Mack Brockton: Vocals, guitar.
Patrick Reinartz: Bass, guitar, vocals.
Penelope Stevens: Vocals, keys, bass.
Mike Nason: Drums (and some guitars)
Dan Tweedie: Consoles, synths, mouse clicks, spiritual leader.

Guests:
Willow Bell: Sass and vocals on It's Only Puppy Love. Sizzling pork.
Jon Bowie: Vocals on Trail Patrol.
Matt Bowie: Guitar and vocals on Trail Patrol.
Nick Cobham: Guitar on ELP, Big Boned Girl // Vocals on Big Boned GIrl.
Steve Dunn: Guitar on It's Only Puppy Love and Frisky a Go-Go.
Dennis Goodwin: Lapsteel on ELP and Big Boned Girl.
Mireille Eagan: Assorted things and vocals on Big Boned Girl (PP Edition).
Andrew Lockhart: Guitar on Trail Patrol.
MIchael Venart: Assorted things and vocals on Big Boned Girl (PP Edition).

Thanks:
Mack: Thanks to Nicole, Aubrey, Tito, Tamara, Mr. Anthony, Jared, Michael and Mireille.
Mike: Thanks to Keri, Eric, The Westerberg Suicides (Bowies, et al), Zach Atkinson, FCS folks, Nick and Dennis and Steve for showing up, Dan Tweedie, and, especially, the whole Tubbs family.
Pat: A big thank you to family and friends, Liz, and my fellow Tubbies.
Kaylee: "Just Brydon and Dan for moi."
Dan: Thanks to my roommates and upstairs neighbours for allowing us to do this and The Shorty Tubbs for taking me along for the ride.

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about

The Shorty Tubbs Fredericton, New Brunswick

An indie-rock, post-modern take on popular music from the past two centuries and counting, Shorty Tubbs straddles the universe like a colossus in short shorts. Looking for a descriptor with bite? Think sonic Doritos: oh so crunchy, practically too tasty, probably not good for you – but you don’t care. ... more

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Track Name: It's Only Puppy Love
I’m sure you have plenty of suitors to wish you a good day.
My breakfast consisted of shooters and now I have to pay.
There’s a fault line on my heart, and if it should ever give way,
A dog-eared puppy love will jump out and lick your sweet face.

I haven’t felt this eighth grade in a decade.
Talking to you is so awesome, why don’t we get nekade, yeah-heah!
There’s a fault line on my heart, and if it should ever give way,
A dog-eared puppy love will jump out and lick your sweet face.

Alone as per uzhe, drinking a beer, writing a postcard to you
While young mothers lounge beside me and laugh with their babies.
Great day to keep circular thoughts at bay
And play along to birdsong and rain.
Track Name: Tamara
Tamara, you’re all I want for Christmas
But all you want are my TT’s,
So I give Christmas away.

A barbed lullaby in a cradle full of snakes,
I don’t know who has more to fear or live for,
The sleeping snakes or you.

I don’t know what is true
But there’s still cash to spare,
Tamara, I love you,
And we’re going nowhere.

I’m you’re rocking horse, baby.
That’s great when you’re around,
Which is mostly not lately,
As you spread joy all over HappyTown.
HappyTown, Mini-van frown, sunny side down.
Track Name: E.L.P.
Come and squeeze the English out of me,
ELP, ELP.
Pucker up and repeat after me:
Oui oui oui oui oui.

Oui oui oui oui oui oui, oui oui oui Oui! (or is it, uh…)
Ci ci ci ci ci ci, cicici ci ci! (or maybe…)
Hi hi hi hi hi hi, hi hi hi hi!
Scia ya da, scia ya da
Pa pa pa toi!

My name tag read Pierre Poutine
Elected sight unseen
Snugglin’ in between
And I could speak in tongues with the best of them,
Make’em spin, shiver and grinnin’, full body sneezin’,
Thank you, lemon gin!
Lemon gin…

Five weeks weak in the knees with the ELPs.
Track Name: Trail Patrol
I’m not afraid of the Trail Patrol
N’ I’m gonna tear City Hall a new hole!
Can I meet you with an open heart,
Search for something in your Woodside eyes?
The girl one’s cute, but smiles like her head’s in a vice.

Life’s for wheeling free and feeling fine,
Yoga breaks, short shorts, tan lines.
Prime-time smoking in the afternoon.
I had a good girl but she came too soon.
Least of my sweet worries is a couple of high school goons.

Cuz’ I wear an invisible helmet.
The mind is a prison made of bullshit.

One speed bike.
City, suck. Cougar, bite.

You broker a dreamstate to which I ain’t got no ties,
Beady Woodside eyes.
Track Name: Omyo Mei
(Intro)
Why, my Omyo Mei,
Of all the blanket forts in Dodge must you shadow mine?
And now my heart for flight is thine.

When I was a young boy, around the age of five,
My Daddy took me aside to say that he was quitting his job
As manager-trainee at McDonalds
To tour with his rock and roll band.

How could he do that to me?
“No more happy meals”, I grimaced,
And vowed to make something better of myself than a musician –
A soldier of fortune, maybe, or an astronaut.
Yeah, an astronaut!

So I set about retrofitting my blanket for with cardboard, turbo-jet rocket launchers
And prepared for my first flight.

When who walks by, but Omyo, Omyo,
Mom’s creepy-cute study partner from Tokyo.
Come rise up in the sky with me, Omyo Mei.
Tell me, would it hurt to try?

Now, I didn’t know it at the time,
But when you like a girl, you’re supposed to tease her, not try and please her –
Oh, that comes later, but first you’ve got to bait her!

I just flat out told Omyo I loved her, and would she fly away with me?
Her look went from creepy-freaked to creepy-sickeningly sweet
And she patted me on top of the head like I was a little puppy dog.

I might not have known much about love,
But I sure as hell knew I wasn’t no puppy dog.
So I just grabbed her arm and tried to drag her back to the fort,
But her being 120 pounds and all, she was three times my size.
She just leans in and gives me this big ol’shove and,
Legs akimbo, eyes shut tight, a world of blankets and adventure some crashing down around me.
But that’s ok because I like to think of it as my first…
Shove, my Shove of Love!
Track Name: Big Boned Girl
Why starve your only life to stifle stupid jokes?
World goes up in smoke. Where’d your brother go?
Running in the snow, home late with a cough.
Cough of don’t get off: the only life he knows.

Each meal like it’s your last, gobbled super fast.
Passed out at the piano in the sun.
Passers-by poke fun at your ample girth,
Ample like your worth, and birthright of a big boned girl.
Big boned girl.

Swing, utter to the left, utter to the right.
Supper girls’ in flight! Always at her best,
Utterly at rest,
Orange jellyroll, swallows my heart whole staking out her bow..

“Why don’t you pack another bowl?”
“Why don’t you pack another bowl?”
“Why don’t you pack another bowl?”
“Why don’t you pack another bowl?”

Big boned girl, Big boned girl,
So long as you exist, I’m ok with this world.

Big boned girl!
Big boned girl!
Big boned girl!
Big boned girl!

Mean jerks smirk and snub you, but you just let it slide.
You know that they’re all full of holes inside they’re trying to hide.
Fuck it, let’s just stay in and watch chickadee tv tonight.
And snuggle up right tight to someone who treats you right.
Track Name: Frisky A Go-Go
My girlfriend was a vision of joy and beauty.
When I was with her I wanted to run away and scream.
Through my dreams streamed scenes of easy love,
No false promises to back out of.

Research trip to Tobago
Gone awry, frisky a go-go.
Met a madam who, for a free load and fee,
Would have hers and her girlfriend’s sweet way with me.

What could I say? I was lonely,
And then we were three.
My two very best friends in the way that you tend to me,
Like waves to the sea.

And then this useless guilt tried to overshadow
Everything I hold close in my marrow.
It’s just a story to sex up my old age,
While the heard sleeps their way across the stage -
That’s not my fate.
If it’s not too late.
Track Name: Hurl Through It
Wake up on the floor in the middle of the night.
Dash for the back door, where the screen is latched up tight.
Too drunk to pursue it. Might as well hurl though it.
And people ask: “Who knows this girl?”

I’m obliged to say me, who does everything for you,
Who does nothing for me.
You come home just to puke, rehydrate, and leave.
As if I’ve lived my whole life to be the last booty call.
Well, that’s no life at all.

No one owns anyone, the best confess and flow.
Though it seems you’re always going so fast,
I’m sure it’s ‘cuz I’m going so slow.
Used to be you and me against the whole outside world.
Now I know it’s just a civil war twirling round your little finger, girl.
When your ire’s gone, who’s left you can depend on?

I’d have to say me, who does everything for you,
Who does nothing for me.
You come home just to puke, rehydrate, and leave.
As if I’ve lived my whole life to be the last booty call.
Well, that’s no life at all.
Track Name: I'm Feeling It!
I learned my “Love-yu Kung-Fu” from sacred perverts in San Francisco,
Who taught me well to feel my balls when I’m talking to that special someone –
Not with my hands, not with her hands, C’mon! Pin your attention
To where you stand in her demands for one such brave man’s extension.

The girl hearts me, that I know but I can’t see
What she sees in me so here I go fucking it up,
Oh, now I see it all, blow by blow:
What this girl hearts is a fantasy tightly based on drunken me
Not being drunk, and now baby sees what’s the ABC’s of me:

“He loves, he leaves, he’s got a ‘life’s too short’ dis-ease.”
And maybe she’s craving babies, baby, please…

Fools sitting smug atop of the food chain,
All but farmed by time,
Stuffed on memories, marinated in wine.
A good friend I smoke with cleans up his act and now
He doesn’t talk to me. It’s all
Good times! And good hygiene!
Good times! And good hygiene!
Track Name: Crash
I’ve got a track record that don’t make me look too damn good.
You look damn good to me.
And I don’t care what your pour on your cornflake, baby.

Pass it on down the line.
I woke up early, peeked through the blinds to see snow,
Crawled back in bed, and pulled you close.
Almost overdosed on what I want most.